Mixed Metaphors and Glass Houses

Since I’m on a roll with my opinions, here is what I think about the recent revelations of John Edwards extramarital affair. Or more accurately, here are some metaphors that describe what I think about what the Dems’ and left-leaning political folks are doing to Edwards (and themselves) in reaction to the affair:

  • Throwing Edwards under the bus (or to the wolves or the lions)
  • Cutting of their nose to spite their face
  • Shooting themselves in the foot
  • Throwing the baby out with the bathwater

Like many people, I was disappointed to learn that John Edwards cheated on his wife. And yes, he shouldn’t have lied to the press when he was asked about it. But I’m willing to forgive him for both transgressions, because like many of us, Edwards is imperfect. And more importantly, he remains committed to his marriage and his wife. It’s equally important that Elizabeth Edwards also remains committed to her marriage and her husband, when most would agree that she would be well within her rights to walk out in heartbreak.

Love. Commitment. Forgiveness. Honesty. These are all the family values that we should aspire to embody in our daily lives and our relationships with our loved ones. If anything, John and Elizabeth Edwards should be regarded as role models; imperfect, able to forgive, committed to family, and able to own up to and learn from their mistakes.

Within the public discourse, it seems that the general public would rather see high-profile people (especially women) whose spouses cheat on them leave their adulterous partner than struggle through the pain to uphold the integrity of their families. When it comes to adultery in marriage, there is no paradigm for forgiveness and reconciliation in the public eye. This exposure and pressure in the media (and the public consumption thereof) reveals a wider public sentiment of judgment, stubbornness and self-righteousness. It is no wonder the divorce rate is so high.

I’m disappointed in Edwards because of the affair. I’m equally disappointed to see that fellow Democrats are so quick to condemn him. They are saying that Edwards political career is virtually over since the revelations of his affair. I’ve seen within the so-called “progressive” blogosphere comparisons with Edwards and Newt Gingrich’s indiscretions, which make me scoff.

Gingrich’s moral compass points to heterosexuality and the “traditional” family. Meanwhile, he has been divorced twice and married thrice. Both of his first two marriages ended because he began relationships with other women. And it is worth articulating clearly that he left his first wife for another woman while his wife was recovering from cancer. All of this while simultaneously condemning committed same-sex partnerships as “immoral.”

Edwards is the only high-profile politician, Republican or Democrat, whose moral compass consistently points to finding a solution to the enormous tragedy and injustice of poverty. He had an affair with a woman that he doesn’t love, and in the end admitted to his bad judgment.  The bottom line is that he is staying with his wife and family, and taking full responsibility for the betrayal. He may have cheated on his wife in the midst of a health crisis, but he did not abandon her the way that Gingrich abandoned his wife.

Edwards done wrong, he admits it and he’s trying to do the right thing. Let’s all make peace with it and move on.

While I believe that any public figure has a right to work out their marital difficulties in private, I also recognize that the choices that a politician makes in private are a reflection on decisions they make in public office. Indeed, I am disappointed in Edwards, but he is not the hypocrite that Gingrich is, and even making the comparison is ridiculous.

I am taking the long view on this, and I hope that Edwards will be able to again take his place with his important voice for social and economic justice within American politics. And maybe even John and Elizabeth Edwards will stand as an example of marriage and family values, honoring commitment in spite of their trials and tribulations, and the cruel attention of the media and judgmental public.

Throw stones if you will, but be prepared to replace some broken windows.

Trickle Down Hatred

On Sunday this week, Jim Adkisson saw fit to shoot up a Unitarian church in Knoxville, TN. His motivation? Hatred for liberals and gay people. I believe that this is the fruit of the Right-Wing agenda, promoting intolerance in combination with the right to bear arms and the belief that this is their mission from God.

And my belief is reinforced by the story in the New York Times today, reporting that senior aides to Attorney General Gonzeles broke the law by using politics in their hiring practices.  Monica Goodling, who is at the center of the investigation, was caught awarding Justice Department jobs to less-qualified right-wing political hacks instead of qualified candidates who were believed to be gay or lesbian, or who had political leanings that were not in lock step with the Republican agenda.

The American Family Association has been saying lately that don’t want to be accused of being motivated by hate, as evidenced by their recent boycott of McDonald’s. But when the beliefs they espouse are used to justify actions like Jim Adkisson’s last Sunday, I think it’s fair to call things what they are: Violence against gays motivated by hate that is promoted by the likes of Monica Goodling and the AFA.

The conservative Christian Right-Wing is deliberately spreading fear and hatered towards gays and lesbians, and pushing their anti-choice, pro-death penalty, pro-gun agenda on the rest of the world. I’m not generally a conspiracy theorist, but when I hear about people like Monica Goodling, a graduate of the late Pat Robertson’s Regent University’s Law School blatently discriminating against people because she thinks they might be queer, or she thinks they might be pro-choice, I see a conspiracy afoot.

And its feeding the ideology of people like Jim Adkisson who feels he has some God-given right to go shoot up a church on a Sunday. I hope that justice will be served in both of these cases.

This Week At The AFA: Homosexual v. Gay

I follow the foibles of the American (anti) Family Association, and they have been busy lately. I have received several emails from them telling the latest about the boycott of McDonald’s, who made a donation to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and made a public statement in support of the gay community. And a couple weeks ago, the AFA successfully launched a campaign to get a supposedly “pro gay” Heinz Ketchup ad off the air.

I was ambivalent about these specific incidents. While I am grateful that McDonald’s is making a statement in support of civil rights for the LGBT community, I am not prepared to patronize the business because I think their selling crap to poor people and making a product that is bad for the world. It’s as bad as smoking. That’s not even scratching the surface. There are myriad reasons why I won’t go to McDonald’s, like the unsustainable way they raise their meat…but I digress. Also, the boycott of McDonald’s just reveals the bigotry and ignorance of the AFA and their friends. Do they really believe that buying a Happy Meal will harm the institution of marriage? Yup, they do. It’s really laughable. I don’t need to waste my energy pointing out what’s obviously funny and ridiculous about that. It speaks for itself.

And I saw the Heinz ad, and it’s just weird. I didn’t find it particularly pro gay. If anything, I thought it was making fun of gay relationships in a way I didn’t appreciate. However innocuous it may appear, I think that it revealed a somewhat homophobic attitude by making fun of same-sex relationships. I guess any kind of visibility is better than none, but at this point in history we’re not at a place where we have to take what we can get.

This week, however, they’ve really embarrassed themselves at the AFA, and this also speaks for itself. The AFA’s news service, One News Now, has an auto-replace for the word “gay” — they use instead “homosexual.” With the news release about Tyson Gay’s Olympic trial this week, they reported a story about “Tyson Homosexual” instead.

I laughed so hard I cried.

Midsommarfest

Here we are enjoying some kabobs at Andersonville’s Midsommarfest.

At the Midsommarfest in Andersonville

You can see my new purse, and the pig t-shirt I got for Gillian’s birthday. We had a great time, wandering around, checking out the music and food and the art, chatting with folks from neighborhood.

However, I could have sword that I read on the website the day before that the festival was officially green. I carried my empties around in my purse all day because the only recycling bins I could find were teeny tiny little ones right at the entrance. Not very green friendly, it seems to me.

However, we had fun, and we look forward to going back next year. I hope they are able to acquire more recycling bins and get serious about promoting green living in Chicago. And perhaps other street fairs in the city will take heed.

Happy Loving Day!


Gillian & Sarah, June 2004

Today is Loving Day, the 41st anniversary of the Supreme Court Decision of Loving v. Virginia, which made all miscegenation laws (banning interracial marriage) unconstitutional. Mildred Loving died on May 2nd this year, just two weeks before the California Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples had the right to marry in that state, making that decision and the anniversary of Loving v. Virginia all the more poignant. In recent years, Mildred Loving was an outspoken supporter of the same-sex marriage, seeing the connection to her and her husband’s case forty years prior.

I think it is wonderful that people celebrate this day. I hope that someday soon the organizers of the Loving Day celebration will see the opportunity and clearly articulate the civil rights connection between the marriage equality movement and the Loving decision, as Mildred Loving did.

Meanwhile, I hope anyone reading this blog acknowledges this day with love in some way, our greatest gift to the world.