This is what I saw when I got off the bus tonight.
In the face of this tragedy, and all of the violence around here over the last few weeks, it is heartening to see this expression of love. It is sorely needed around here.
RIP Detrick Garrett.
Category: Community
Real Marriage
Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state. — Kathleen Norris
I came across this quote on Twitter the other day, and something resonated with me. It is not the first time I have heard this sentiment, and I think it’s absolutely right. The only thing required to make a marriage is a relationship between two people who know in their hearts that they are committed to each other as life partners. Their thoughts, words, and deeds are what enable intimacy, love, commitment, and family to flourish.
By this definition, my wife and I married to each other; in the eyes of the law and most of the world we are virtual strangers to each other. Despite that and the lack of a piece of paper that would make our marriage legal, my wife and I, and our loved ones know that we are married.
And while I believe this, my wedding day six years ago is an important moment in our past that has a presence in our daily lives now. The ceremony and celebration of our relationship, and the certificate that all of our guests signed as witnesses, while symbolic, is a bonding moment for us. While long since past, being able to reach back to the moment of that day and the love and care of our family has helped us get through some very difficult moments.
Same sex couples everywhere know all too well that marriage doesn’t require legal documents or ceremony. However, the support and respect that these offer strengthens relationships, families, and communities.
2010: Resolve and Determination
In the tradition of New Year holiday reflection, I am reorganizing my goals and creating a plan to achieve them. As I embrace the opportunity to join the popular conversation about resolutions, I remember that every day presents the opportunity to make changes, that the New Year is not the only time to find resolve.
Gillian and I were discussing how we want to start this year with a plan of cleaning up our joint finances, and although we are beginning this new plan in January, she would rather establish long term goals than make resolutions. Indeed, many people don’t succeed in attaining their resolutions, so I wonder what besides the inspiration of a New Year and a clean slate will make one’s resolve stick.
In 2010, I resolve to work slowly day by day on achievable goals, and to enjoy the journey without obsessing about the destination. Meanwhile, here is a working list of things I would like to be mindful of in my daily plans.
- Writing
- Reading
- Food
- Rest
- Yoga
- Spirit
- Connections
- Knitting
- Responsibility
- Courage
- Community
- Forgiveness
- Sustainability
- Gratitude
- Generosity
- Breath
- Always Love
Namaste. Amen.
2009 Passages
I keep a page on this blog for Inspiring Lives where I post links to obituaries for people whom I admire. In a past professional life, one of my assignments was to read obituaries, and it was a task I began to enjoy. I find them to be beautiful tributes written with care and love. Over the years I have read many that truly are inspiring, so much so that from time to time I would cut one out of the paper and tack it too the cork board above my desk. Friends have observed that they feel sad when the read the obits, but I also find joy and celebration in the words.
I am no longer required to read the obits, but I have kept the habit. I subscribe to a few obituary blogs, and I will share my favorites on Facebook and Twitter, and of course track them here.
2009 has marked many passings, and honestly I haven’t been able to keep up. Today, as I begin a New Years resolution to write and blog more, I am updating my page and remembering all of the wonderful people who we lost in 2009 who made life on this earth a little sweeter. Even in their passing we can be happy that they lived, and honor them with acknowledgement and celebration.
This year, these death hit close to home. I shed tears as I watched the telecasts of the memorials for Ted Kennedy and Michael Jackson, sharing in the popular grief of the rest of the Nation as we witnessed the end of an era. My family lost our beloved uncle, Ted Larson, in February, and on Little Christmas Eve Lula Maria Walker Smith, my wife’s mother, passed away after a long illness.
The nine-year anniversary of my mother’s death is coming up on January 10th. The profundity of her passing, continues to teach me that death is a gift, if you are open to to receiving it as such.
For every life that I cite here, I am grateful. Namaste.
Here are some of the collected tributes for 2009:
- Notable Deaths of 2009 (New York Times)
- Notable Deaths in 2009 (Wikipedia)
- Notable Deaths of 2009 (Boston Globe)
- LA Tims Obituaries
- New York Times Obituaries
- Chicago Tribune Obituaries
Beat Cancer! #beatcancer
In honor of my brother, David, who is fighting cancer, an my mother, Anne who passed away from cancer nearly ten years ago, I am joining the social media campaign to fight cancer today. For every blog post, Facebook update, and Twitter post with the hashtag #beatcancer, $.01 is donated to cancer charities. I’m helping to raise funds to #beatcancer, by blogging, tweeting and posting Facebook status updates. Click here to join me!
Paradoxologies 