Category: Observances

Observing Juneteenth

On By SarahIn Art & Culture, Community, Observances, Things I ♥, What's Making Me HappyLeave a comment

President Joe Biden signed the bill to recognize Juneteenth as a federal holiday, which may be some modicum of progress, and one that I celebrate. However, it’s impossible not to see this as some kind of – I don’t know if compromise is the right word – instead of Americans doing the work that is necessary to acknowledge the real trauma of slavery and its ongoing impact on our nation. It seems such a small, insignificant thing as voting rights are under attack, and as Black people are literally under attack.

All that aside, I am observing Juneteenth by reading, listening, and learning, trying to understand the significance of this holiday in history, and its meaning now. I’ve known about Juneteenth for some time, but only now I am coming to truly appreciate its meaning. What is sticking with me now is that, while Juneteenth is a joyful celebration, it comes from a place of profound pain, and you cannot separate the two.

This week, my learning includes the second video episode of the Black History Continued series from the New York Times. Juneteenth: The New Black Joy is a wonderful episode about Black creativity and resilience. It includes an interview with Questlove about his new documentary, Summer of Soul, about the little-known, yet very important cultural event in 1969, the Harlem Cultural Festival. At the end of the video is a beautiful conversation with Esperanza Spalding about her work, and her sanctuary for BIPOC artists (I hope someone from the MacArthur Foundation is paying attention).

Additionally, I’ve been listening to Ibram X. Kendi’s new podcast, Be Anti-Racist. The latest episode is The Juneteenth Mixtape, a collection of reflections of people on the street and cultural thinkers and intellectuals and their thoughts on the holiday.

My spouse celebrated his birthday last week, and in the week prior, we had started to delve into the wonderful Netflix series, High on the Hog, about the food and cooking of the African Diaspora and its impact on American culture and food. My husband, a brilliant cook and lover of history, said to me “how do I not have any of Jessica Harris’s books?!” So I knew that I needed to give him her book, High on the Hog, which is the inspiration for the series.

With inspiration from this documentary, my spouse and I are considering how we will henceforth observe and celebrate the holiday, This New York Times collection of recipes, including a submission from Jessica Harris for succotash, is giving us some ideas, and I think we will be doing some testing throughout the year. YUM!

Finally, you cannot have a celebration without music. I found a fantastic Juneteenth list on Spotify, and this will be our soundtrack.

Black Lives Matter

On By SarahIn Observances, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Black Lives Matter is an organization of activists fighting for the civil rights of Black people. It’s also a true statement, and a fact that people, especially white people, need to be reminded of. Again and again and again.

I woke up today, and before 8:00 there were already two stories in the news about Black men, one who was threatened with violence, and another who met with violence to the point of death. There have been other recent stories in the news about Black people dying violently at the hands of white people. These stories are, unfortunately, not exceptional, and these incidents keep happening. It is unacceptable.

As Ibram Kendi said on Twitter, “We should be drawing a straight line of racist terror from Amy Cooper [the woman who terrorized Christian Cooper] to this Minneapolis cop [who murdered George Floyd]. Too often, she is the beginning. He is the end.”

This is only going to stop when we commit to making it stop.

White people, it’s time to get our shit together. When you say “I’m not racist,” it discredits everything you say following that. Racism and white supremacy might not reflect your values, but we live in a culture where those values are indeed embedded and that we are taught early on. We are all racist, whether we admit it or not. The system we live in benefits white people, while it oppresses others. This in and of itself doesn’t make white people bad, but if we don’t recognize it and work to change it, we perpetuate it.

We have to commit to end institutional racism, work to understand what it means to be anti-racist, amplify Black voices and Black experience, advocate for Black people, call racism out, hold people accountable, speak up against injustice, and understand that this is work that must be done continuously, without end. We must work to understand the legacy of slavery and white supremacy, the inter-generational trauma that it has caused.

Here is a link to some anti-racist resources.

I would add to this list (I will be adding more to this post going forward):

 

 

Paradoxical Readings – April 2014

On By SarahIn Gratitude, Observances, Opinion, Things I ♥, What I'm ReadingLeave a comment

Recently I’ve read a couple of different articles that went viral about the wisdom most of us gain by our 40s. What You Learn In Your 40s and This is 45: The Eye of the Life’s Storm. The latter particularly resonated with me. In sum, the premise is “The emotional drama of growing up is behind you, the physical perils of aging are still to come.” Both articles speak to mid-40s being the age of perspective, of knowing exactly what it means that you are responsible for where you’ve been and where you’re going, for being wiser for having learned some of life’s hard lessons, and enjoying the present moment with gratitude. I can’t relate to everything in this article, as I am not straight and I am not a parent, but there are many nuggets of wisdom and humor that express what I feel, such as:

Your brain has reached capacity and to retain any additional information, some things leak out.

or:

At 45 your tolerance for mean people hits rock bottom. Life is too short to spend any energy on bullies.

and:

You begin to realize that granting yourself permission to just “be” is one of the hardest things you will ever attempt.

At 45, we’re all a little softer around the edges, literally and figuratively, and that’s kind of nice, actually.

This article in response to Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In was an interesting read. I haven’t read the book, but I’ve talked to enough folks who have read it and found valuable nuggets of wisdom in it. This piece claims that “leaning in is killing us.” The author says that before she took Sandberg’s advice, she had more time for a personal life. All of this seems to speak to the old question of work-life balance that is never satisfactorily answered. Again, I’m not a straight woman and a parent, and I do think that is the audience for Lean In and this article, so I can’t relate to everything here. What strikes me as I read this and think about my straight female colleagues and friends who have careers and children is that, with exceptions, their male partners assume the stereotypical role of secondary caretaker of children and household. I do try not to be judgy, but it looks to me like as a culture we still have a long way to go towards gender equality in our professional and personal lives.

This article from the New Yorker about self-help books is a little depressing. The author posits that the positive thinking that these books teach their readers tend to have quite the opposite effect. I guess I don’t find this surprising.

The most effective way I have found to combat depression is to be pro-active, actually do something, as opposed to just thinking positively. One thing I do when I’m depressed is practice gratitude. I intentionally think of all of my blessings and offer up a prayer of thanks, meditate on the abundance in my life, or even send a thank-you note to a friend who has done an act of kindness for me. Practicing gratitude is included on this list of 19 Ideas to Start & End Your Day With Joy. On this post I found a few new things, and was reminded of a few I already know, to help me stay soft around the edges. These are all practices of self-loving, and good ways to stay mindful of all of the lessons I have learned by mid-life, and to stay open to continue learning.

More stats on what you can do proactively to combat depression: The Science of Happiness.

I love the Brain Pickings blog. A recent post about The Benjamin Franklin Effect tells the story of how Ben Franklin won over a a troll and a nemesis with kindness. In this story is the lesson for all of us to stop hate in its tracks by fighting it with love.

Speaking of fighting hate with love, there were a couple of really nice examples in the last few weeks. On the heels of the death of Fred Phleps, some local folks staged a demonstration of his funeral in the style of the Westboro Baptist Church, only with a compassionate twist.

In another loving response to hate, Honey Maid responded this way to hate mail that they received in response to ads depicting diverse families, including a same-sex couple and their son. I think I might be craving graham crackers!

What are you reading?

On Civil Discourse

On By SarahIn Community, Observances, Opinion4 Comments

Don’t Feed the Trolls, and Don’t Be a Troll

I despaired after the Trayvon Martin verdict came down because the national conversation on race in this country has devolved to a state where reconciliation seems impossible. People feel passionately about the issue, and there is a lot of anger being expressed and not much listening going on. On one side, people are claiming that we live in “post racial” society and racism is not a problem any more. On the other side, folks say that racism in America is alive and well, and we as a society still have a lot of work to do to change. The way this issue is playing out in the media and popular culture, people on all sides are not engaging in any sort of productive or civil discourse.

Race is just one issue among many others that divide the nation, that divide progressives and conservatives. I continue to despair because I see little hope for productive dialog across the left-right abyss. Until a critical mass of citizens commits to truly listening to and respecting diverging opinions, we’re not going to be able to make progress towards building a more just and civil society. The priority has to be civil discourse and respecting one another, not winning the debate.

In the days after the verdict in Trayvon Martin’s case came down, I posted a couple of opinion pieces about the Trayvon Martin verdict that I thought were well written on my Google Plus page. One article in particular prompted some debate in the comments of the post. I am decidedly on the progressive side, and believe that justice was not served in the case. Since I posted it publicly, anyone can comment on the post, unless I block you. A couple of readers whom I don’t know posted their opposing points of view.

The exchange started out okay, and they just expressed their opposing views. Another progressive friend posted a comment (in response to the article, not to any other comment in particular), and one of the folks with an opposing view angrily lashed out at her, calling her stupid, and her ideas bulls***. To me, that crossed a line, so I deleted the offending comment, blocked him from my page and from further discussion. I did so with a statement to everyone following the thread that I don’t tolerate trolls and incivility.

After that, another reader stated his disagreement, and accused me of banning the previous offender simply because he had a different point of view. He posted a few things that were angry in tone, but not yet bullying per se. I rearticulated my position that calling someone stupid and using offensive language is enough for me to shut someone down on my turf. He continued to assert his belief that I was shutting down dissenting opinions. Finally, he too, called my friend stupid in another angry rant, so I blocked him from further comment.

I welcome friendly debate and differing opinions. I strongly prefer diversity of all kinds – including political and social perspectives. I don’t want to live my life only socializing with like-minded folks. I want to understand why people arrive at such starkly differing opinions. However, I have yet to encounter anyone, online or otherwise, with an opposing opinion who is willing to debate without intimidation or insults. I would like to build bridges, not walls, but I will not engage with people who are mean and hurtful.

Taking a note from Ta-Nehisi Coates, I claim the prerogative to curate my comment feed as if it were a dinner party: If you’re going to berate and insult one of my guests, I’m going to ask you to leave. I welcome disagreement, not abusive and uncivil behavior. I’ve taken a stab at writing my own ground rules for civil behavior in public debate. If you are on my turf, any blog I manage, and social media feed that I control, here are the rules of engagement. And if you don’t play by the rules, you don’t play at all:

  1. Come to the table with good intentions, seeking understanding and common ground.
  2. Assume that everyone, like you, also comes to the table with those same good intentions.
  3. Listen openly. When you don’t understand something, ask clarifying questions.
  4. Prioritize respect for others over being right.
  5. Stay focused on the issues being discussed and debated. Don’t distract and bait with insults and unrelated topics.
  6. Take a breath, especially when you feel yourself getting upset.
  7. Don’t take disagreement personally.
  8. Take ownership. You are responsible for what you do and what you say.
  9. Be nice. Be cordial.
  10. Do not feed the trolls! Don’t engage in debate with anyone who treats you or anyone else disrespectfully. Walk away, or you risk becoming a troll, too.

References:

The Thorny World of Online Comments – from On The Media

How to Creat an Engaging Comments Section – from On The Media

Trolls: A Field Guide

Internet Trolls Wikipedia Page

Cutting Internet Trolls Down to Size

On Responsibility

On By SarahIn Community, Observances, OpinionLeave a comment

My reflections on the George Zimmerman verdict in the murder of Trayvon Martin

While I’m not surprised at the verdict of this trial, I am outraged and despairing. This is a miscarriage of justice, and one of the most appalling thing to me is the admonition from the judge that racial profiling not be considered in Zimmerman’s behavior on that fateful night. Racial profiling is central to this case, and it seems to me that Zimmerman is now alleviated of all responsibility of his actions on the night he killed Trayvon Martin.

Zimmerman is not being held responsible for assuming, prejudging, that Martin was “up to no good,” and then pursuing, and confronting an innocent kid. Ultimately, Zimmerman is not being held responsible for the consequences of his actions which his own prejudices drove: Zimmerman, while losing a physical struggle that he instigated, fired his own weapon and killed an unarmed teenaged boy, a boy who arguably was defending himself, standing his ground.

There is a double standard in the application of “stand your ground” laws, revealing that the lives of brown people are valued less in our culture. And apparently women, too, now that the verdict of Marissa Alexander’s trial, sentencing her to 20 years for firing warning shots as her abusive husband was threatening her. Why does Zimmerman get acquited when an innocent boy died at his hands, and Alexander goes to prison when she was legitimately defending herself?

I’m trying to see threads of hope in this. There is an opportunity for communities to come together about how to conduct an ethical neighborhood watch, how to truly look out for one another instead of suspecting one another, and to value all lives equally. This incident may get more people to really think and talk about prejudices that we all hold.

We are not color blind, as much as we want to believe we are. We see color and we assume differences. We all act on prejudices, and those actions have consequences for which we are personally responsible. Until we take responsibility these grave tragedies and injustices will continue. So I hope we can forgive each other when we act on prejudice, and I really hope we can take responsibility for our own actions, and learn from those mistakes and change.

I’m trying to be optimistic, though it is difficult when we are so divided as a nation. Oddly, knowing that I am not alone in my despair is giving me hope.

RIP, Trayvon. May your life and death inspire us all to take responsibility for our own transformation.

References:

George Zimmerman, Not Guilty: Blood On The Leaves

Is There Racial Bias in “Stand Your Ground” Laws?

Florida ‘stand your ground’ law yields some shocking outcomes depending on how law is applied