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A Matter of Semantics

April 12, 2009 by Sarah

I was discouraged a few weeks ago after the California Supreme Court hearing on Proposition 8. While it looks likely that the court will not rule in favor of civil rights for the LGBT community, things are looking up in other parts of the world for marriage equality. The Iowa Supreme Court unanimously ruled that marriage is a civil right for same sex couples. The Vermont Legislature overrode Governor Douglas’s veto of the marriage equality bill in that state. Same sex marriage was legalized in Sweden.

Friends and acquaintances have suggested to me that perhaps we should be fighting for civil unions for all couples, ending state-sanctioned marriage altogether. It’s a nice idea, and it supports the separation of church and state, if you subscribe to the idea that the word “marriage” means a holy union sanctioned by God. However, this seems like an even bigger undertaking to me than simply fighting for marriage equality for all couples. Trying to enforce a paradigm of civil unions, no matter what the gender of the couples involved, would work in the US about as well as converting us all to using the metric system did back in the 1970s.

We can debate the merits and drawbacks of what we’re going to call our committed, consensual, adult, two-person family units and whether the state should recognize us as married couples or civilly unionized couples. Cultures and languages evolve naturally, and like it or not, marriage is the dominant paradigm. Additionally, the anti-gay activists will oppose any protections for same sex couples whether they’re called civil unions or marriages, so the struggle remains the same.

It is how people live and speak about their day-to-day lives that ultimately gives shape to our identities and our family units. Same sex couples live in the world as opposite sex couples. We have careers and families, and we are productive members of our communities. Our parents, friends, siblings, and neighbors respect us and count on us. Some of us are vulnerable and need protections of the state like any other citizens. The people of the United States believe in fairness and equality. In the fight for marriage equality we are on the right side of history, and we will one day win our civil rights and be able to legally marry.

Posted in Friends & Family, Opinion, Politics | Leave a Comment »

My Petition to Geithner About the AIG Bonuses

March 16, 2009 by Sarah

Today I signed the MoveOn petition to stop the AIG bonuses. Here is what I said:

I am outraged that my tax money is being used to pay bonuses to irresponsible executives who were motivated by greed, and wound up destroying the economy. I am already being unfairly taxed by thousands of dollars a year because my marriage is not allowed legal recognition in this country, and now I find out that my tax dollars are paying AIG executives bonuses. While my wife and I struggle to make ends meet, and while I watch my family, friends and neighbors deal with unaffordable housing and unemployment, I am enraged to know that my tax money is being used in this way.

I encourage you all to sign, too.

Posted in Opinion, Politics | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments »

Food Porn: Bacon, Goat Cheese, and Carmelized Onion Tart

February 16, 2009 by Sarah


Tart Cooling

Originally uploaded by silly.goose

Oh. My. God. This is one of my most favorite things in the whole world. Gillian recently made this tart for a potluck that I went to. She was coming down with a nasty virus that day, poor thing, so she had enough energy to make the tart, but not the potluck. She didn’t get any, so today we’re having a do-over (and the people at the potluck were very impressed — luckily there were no vegans or vegetarians there).

Here is the recipe:

Crust

* 1/2 c. unsalted butter, cold
* 1 1/4 c. all-purpose flour
* 1/4 c. stone ground cornmeal
* 1/2 t. kosher salt
* 3 oz. cream cheese, cut into 4 chunks
* 2-3 T. ice water

1. Cut the butter into small cubes and freeze for 15 minutes
2. In a food processor with the metal blade, blend flour, cornmeal and salt. Add cream cheese and process for about 20 seconds or until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add butter and pulse until it is pea size. Add ice water 1/2 tablespoon at a time and process for about 30 seconds, until a pinch of dough holds together.
3. Dump the dough directly onto a sheet of plastic wrap and knead until it holds together. Shape into a disk and place in refrigerator for at least 30 minutes (but no longer than three hours, otherwise you’ll need to let it sit out for a while at room temp until you can work with it).

Filling

Prepare while dough is chilling

* 8 slices of thick cut bacon (we sometimes use a little less)
* 1 T olive oil
* 2 lbs. (4 lg) onions, thinly sliced
* 1/2 t. kosher salt
* 1/2 t. fresh thyme (we use at least twice as much; do it to your taste)
* 3/4 c. crumbled goat cheese
* 3-4 T. milk (to brush on the crust after it’s assembled)

1. Dice the bacon into lardons (narrow strips, cutting cross-wise)
2. Saute until half-way cooked. Discard all but 2 T. of bacon fat. Set bacon aside.
3. Add olive oil to bacon fat, and saute onions, adding the salt. Cook onions until golden brown, about 35-45 minutes.*

Assembly

1. Pre-heat the oven to 375 degrees.
2. On parchment, roll the dough out into a rough circle about 1/8 inch thick, and 14-16 inches in diameter.
3. Lift the parchment and dough onto a baking sheet.
4. Spread the onions over the crust, leaving a 1/2 inch boarder. Sprinkle the bacon, thyme and cheese (we recommend in that order) over the onions.
5. Fold the edges of the crust and brush with milk.
6. Bake for 30-35 minutes.

And voila! You have a gorgeous, rustic, and savory tart. Please enjoy!

* We sometimes like to use the slow process for caramelizing the onions. Cook over very low heat for several hours (anywhere from 2-12). They literally melt, turning to a butter-like consistence. It is well worth the wait!

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Marriage Equality Is About Marriage. Period.

February 15, 2009 by Sarah

I want to be legally married to my wife. I don’t want special rights, just the same rights that are granted to all heterosexual Americans. I don’t want to redefine marriage, rather I want my relationship with my spouse to be recognized and respected as a committed relationship just as other legal spouses are, with the same rights and responsibilities.

Within any same-sex union, marriage is marriage. In terms of how married couples live in the world, being in love, being committed, being responsible to and for each other, some times raising children, certainly working and paying taxes, being there for one another through sickness and health, prosperity and poverty, same-sex couples are no different than opposite-sex couples.

Whether between a man and a woman, two women, or two men, Marriage isn’t straight or gay. Marriage is marriage.

The marriage equality movement is about civil rights, not special rights, as our opponents continue to bark. As long as the media and popular culture continue to frame the marriage equality movement using the term of “gay marriage,” there will be people who see it as an issue of special rights and redefining marriage. This is simply not the case.

The other day on Twitter, the LA Times tweeted a headline about “gay marriage. ” I tweeted back asking that they use the term “marriage equality” instead. I was pleasantly surprised that someone actually tweeted back at me that “gay marriage” is actually in their style guide. This would never have occurred to me!

It turns out that the Associated Press Style Guide recommends using the term “gay marriage” (scroll down to the section on “Debates Over Terminology”) in articles about same-sex marriage, sometimes simply to save headline space! To their credit, they also recommend simply using the term “marriage” in articles about marriage equality. But clearly some education still needs to occur.

Since it’s updated every year, I think that supporters of marriage equality should lobby the AP to update that recommendation. I’m not entirely sure how to go about doing this, so I’m open to suggestion. However, I’m going to start simply by emailing their general info@ap.org address.

We started a civil rights revolution five years ago. We can certainly continue to influence this positive cultural shift.

Posted in Friends & Family, Opinion, Politics | Tagged , | 6 Comments »

Counting Our Blessings

February 14, 2009 by Sarah

This week has been a doozie for my family; a death in the family; a divorce; a lost job; and many serious health problems.

In response to all of this, Dad sent out an email to all of us this week asking us all to share good news, he being the first to collect some really choice pieces:

  • Noah had a successful piano recital
  • Alex won an important prize at art school
  • Max got a sports casting internship
  • Phoebe will be in an ice skating show this May
  • Faye is having an art exhibit in New York
  • Sarah (my niece) was elected Student Body Vice President at her college
  • Rick received an Eagle Scout award
  • Elizabeth was recently reacquainted with an old family friend who has published a book
  • Elise got a part in the school play
  • Dad recently celebrated his 77th birthday, where Rachel helped him unwrap his presents. Daughter Sarah (me) was also there from out of town to help celebrate.
  • Martin learned how to whistle (his dad still can’t)
  • Andrew read a poem at the MLK celebration at his school
  • Robyn and Charlie finally replace the 20-year-old linoleum in their home
  • Margaret and Sarah (me) both had positive reviews at their jobs
  • Sarah (niece) won some sort of spaghetti wrestling competition at college

You can probably tell that these are mostly grand kids and young nephews and nieces. Children most certainly are a blessing and a joy, and I think that we grownups need to learn from them to look within us and around us and count all of our blessings. It makes me realize that it is the small things that are bringing me joy and satisfaction, as well as appreciating the larger things that I take for granted.

Last week, my new friend Jean made me aware of a gratitude meme on Twitter, asking people to participate in an online and real life dialog about all the things they are grateful for. I have been thinking about all that I’m grateful for ever since, so when Dad sent out the email calling on us to share everything positive that is happening in our lives, it really resonated with me. Even the small things that seem mundane can make a difference in the right direction. Here are some things that I am grateful for:

  • A job and career that provides for my family and gives me personal satisfaction
  • An exceptionally strange and wonderful family that I adore, whether they realize it or not
  • Getting acquainted with old friends through social networking tools, many of whom I wouldn’t have any idea how to reach
  • Five years of marriage to the love of my life, and the community that supports our relationship
  • My yoga practice that is making me increasingly mindful, open-hearted, and grounded
  • My beautiful home in my favorite city
  • Watching the drama of the change of seasons
  • Challenges, past and present, that make me stronger, and life lessons that I continue to learn from years later
  • The incredible generosity of my parents who provided me with everything that I need (and then some) to lead a meaningful life

So when the stress of my job rears its ugly head, making me cranky and moody and blue, or when personal drama threatens to bring me down, I now react by taking a step back, breathe deeply, and think of all of these the wonderful things in my life. This is not to deny the reality of the things that are hard, and sometimes suck, but to simply look at the good stuff along side of those challenges recognize the opportunities.

What are you grateful for?

Posted in Community, Friends & Family, Gratitude, Spirituality, Things I ♥ | Leave a Comment »

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